A Talking Frog

 
An older gentleman was playing a round of golf. Suddenly his ball sliced and landed in a shallow pond. As he was attempting to retrieve the ball he discovered a frog who, to his great surprise, started to speak! "Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a week." He picked up the frog and placed it in his pocket.

As he continued to play golf, the frog repeated its message. "Kiss me, and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole month!" The man continued to play his golf game and once again the frog spoke out. "Kiss me,and I will change into a beautiful princess, and I will be yours for a whole year!"

Finally, the old man turned to the frog and exclaimed, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

Privacy is important.

Of course I should clean my windows.
But privacy is important too.

The handle is the best part.

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: 

" My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle! "

Psychiatrist: 

" Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part. "