A father took his children to the zoo. All were looking forward to seeing the monkeys. Unfortunately, it was mating time and, the attendant explained, the monkey had gone inside their sanctuary for some togetherness. " Would they come out for some peanuts? " asked the father.
" Would you? " responded the attendant.
Friday, December 28, 2018
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Samurai – A Japanese, A Chinese and A Jewish
Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who sent a declaration out throughout the country announcing that he was searching for a new head Samurai.
A year passed and only three people showed up to apply for the position: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out popped a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground in two pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, “ That is very impressive!”
The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. Whoosh – whoosh went his sword. The fly dropped dead on the ground in four pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, “ That is really very impressive!”
The emperor then had the Jewish Samurai demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. His flashing sword went Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. A gust of wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, asked, “After all of that, why is the fly not dead?”
The Jewish Samurai smiled and said, “ Circumcision is not intended to kill.”
A year passed and only three people showed up to apply for the position: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box and out popped a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground in two pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, “ That is very impressive!”
The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. Whoosh – whoosh went his sword. The fly dropped dead on the ground in four pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, “ That is really very impressive!”
The emperor then had the Jewish Samurai demonstrate why he should be the new head Samurai. The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box and out popped a fly. His flashing sword went Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. A gust of wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, asked, “After all of that, why is the fly not dead?”
The Jewish Samurai smiled and said, “ Circumcision is not intended to kill.”
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
How About A Dozen Eggs?
Spotting one of his customers wandering the aisles of his specialty food shop, my boss approached.
" We're having a sale on tongue, " he said, " Would you like some? "
" Eeww! " shuddered the woman. " I would never eat anything from an animal's mouth! "
" In that case, " my boss said, " how about a dozen eggs? "
" We're having a sale on tongue, " he said, " Would you like some? "
" Eeww! " shuddered the woman. " I would never eat anything from an animal's mouth! "
" In that case, " my boss said, " how about a dozen eggs? "
He Hated the Book
A man went to the movies and was surprised to find a woman with a big collie sitting in front of him. Even more amazing was the fact that the dog always laughed in the right places through the comedy.
" Excuse me," the man said to the woman, " but I think it's astounding that your dog enjoys the movie so much."
" I am surprised my self, " she replied. " He hated the book. "
" Excuse me," the man said to the woman, " but I think it's astounding that your dog enjoys the movie so much."
" I am surprised my self, " she replied. " He hated the book. "
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Seven Years of Bad Luck
" What are you so happy about? " a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
" I broke a mirror," he replied.
" But that means seven years of bad luck."
" I know, " he said, beaming. " Isn't it wonderful? "
Saturday, December 22, 2018
She Is Left-handed.
A married couple, both avid golfers, were discussing the future one night. " Honey," the wife said, " If I were to die and you were to remarry, would you two live in this house?"
"I suppose so -- it's paid for."
"How about our car?" continued the women. "Would the two of you keep that?"
"I suppose so -- it's is paid for."
"What about my golf clubs? Would you let her use them too?"
"Heck, no," the husband blurted out. "She is left-handed."
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
戴绿帽...
昨晚飯局上認識了一位大哥,
席間閒談基因改造食品的問題,
大哥很真誠的勸大家不要再吃 基因改造食品了,
他說:「這對孩子傷害很大。」
因為他的孩子和他做親子鑑定,
結果基因不匹配,
就是因為孩子吃基因改造食品把基因改變了。
語畢,在場其他人全儍了,
問他這些知識是聽誰說的?
他驕傲的說:是他老婆告訴他的……
席間閒談基因改造食品的問題,
大哥很真誠的勸大家不要再吃 基因改造食品了,
他說:「這對孩子傷害很大。」
因為他的孩子和他做親子鑑定,
結果基因不匹配,
就是因為孩子吃基因改造食品把基因改變了。
語畢,在場其他人全儍了,
問他這些知識是聽誰說的?
他驕傲的說:是他老婆告訴他的……
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
7日最高点击率博文
-
1. 陈嘉庚(1874 – 1961年) 陈嘉庚先生是伟大的爱国主义者、杰出的华侨领袖、著名实业家、教育家和社会活动家。陈嘉庚于1874年10月21日出生在福建省同安县仁德里集美村(即现厦门市集美区),又名甲庚,字科次。9岁入读南轩私塾,17岁南来新加坡,帮父亲打理米行。后来父...
-
朋友小飞问: 『 其实我有点忘了,当年我们统考成绩里的 C 到底是 Credit 还是 Pass ?』 我回问:『 那你印象中认为呢?』 小飞不确定说: 『 嗯.... 我觉得应该是Credit,因为SPM 成绩中 Grade C 也算是 Cred...
-
#19367 #文长慎入 "作为近几年的坤成毕业生,我想发表对于坤成中学,学习六年来的一些浅谈: 不推荐经济能力有限的学生阅读,钱只用来upgrade facilities,杂费不知道用去哪里,mco还收一样的400+一个月的学费,你无法表达自己对学费...
-
中國古代名人太多,從中選出100個已經不容易,如果要從100個裡面選出更具影響力的50個就更不容易了。作者主要考慮其對中國的歷史產生巨大改變的一些人物,他們很多是開國皇帝,也有很多是行業奠基人,還有一些是在某一領域達到巔峰造極等等。也有很多人物也可以入選,甚至有的名聲...
-
职称: 电脑教师 资历/条件: 1) 大学相关科系文凭,对教育教学充满热忱 2) 需具备工作热诚、积极主动、责任感、耐心以及处理问题的能力。 职称: 地理教师 资历/条件: 1) 大学相关科系文凭,对教育教学充满热忱 2) 需具备工作热诚、积...
-
致:全体师生及家长 本校配合教育部为阻断2019新冠肺炎病毒疫情的扩散,紧急发布之关闭校园指示,将自11月1日(星期日)起停课14天,至11月14日(星期六)止。 在“停课不停学”的大原则下,校方将于近日内发布全面启动网课的实施方案及课程安排,敬请...
-
坤成中学现已开始招收明年初一新生,为疫情缘故,校方全面采取线上报名方式进行,截止日期为9月27日,惟外国籍学生家长仍需亲自到校办理报名事宜。 初一课程简介 来源: 坤成中学网站
-
中国学术质量被世界肯定👍 , 网课质量如何就不清楚了😶 。 马汉顺今日为2022年 “留华桥” 中国高等教育e展主持开幕时指出, 近年来,前往中国留学的马来西亚学子人数持续上升,说明了中国高等教育的学术质量已越来越被世界肯定,这对选择前往中国留学的马来西亚子...